Lee

At 1am, I woke up with strong back pain. There was no questioning that my labour had started. I was under the impression early labour can take some time, so I decided to ride it out. I lay down in bed to relax but could not continue lying down during contractions, so I would quickly sit up on the bedside, with the hot water bottle plastered to my back, then lie down again. This only happened for a short while because I could not relax between the close contractions; I felt stuck on the side of the bed and could not move.

MAMA triage was called because things were moving quickly, with intense and frequent contractions. We fumbled our way around putting the TENS machine pads on and working out the settings. We laugh about not having any idea how to use it, and I said, "should have read the instructions before labour started"! Now my advice to everyone is: make sure you understand how to use the TENS machine before labour starts and have it ready to go!

I needed to move and get into another position to reduce the back pain intensity. I managed to get off the bed and kneeled on the floor with my upper body on the exercise ball, with the TENS machine always on full power and the hot water bottle. This was awfully painful, however applying counter pressure to my hips and rubbing my back made it bearable. A birth comb in each hand also helped greatly in managing the pain.

My fighting spirit came out against the contractions, which were now known as "bloody mongrels." During pregnancy I had heard them referred to as surges, waves, and sensations, but in the moment they were the enemy who needed to be fought and got out of my body. In my mind it was like a battle, the enemy charging over a hill towards me, and it was my job to hold my ground and fight back. I would say the bloody mongrels are coming, and it felt like they charged into my body; I would stand firm and say, "get out, you are not welcome here, get out and go away," then they would retreat and I could relax for a short while before the cycle restarted.

Then I announced, "I need to do a poo", birth is progressing! Somehow I managed to stand up and walk to the toilet. Sitting on the toilet while doing a wee, I heard a gigantic pop and was shocked about what had occurred. In hindsight it was probably my waters breaking. We called MAMA triage because we became a little stressed; I started to get the desire to push, and my body just did it without my conscious mind helping. It's amazing how the body just takes over and does what it needs to do at exactly the right time. Up until this point I had no desire to push, but now, sitting on the toilet, it was all that I wanted to do.

The MAMA triage midwife said being on the toilet would assist pushing, so I should get off it. I got off the toilet and waddled into the bedroom. I didn't make it back to the bed and ended up on all fours on the floor. I rode out the sensations, then my wrists started getting sore and eventually my whole body dropped to the floor, and I lay on my side with the water bottle still plastered to my back.

This is when Corin arrived. She asked if I would like her to check me to see how far along I was, and I said, "yes, I trust you, do everything you need to do." I was in my no-mucking-around mood and meant business, this was going to happen, and quickly. I just wanted the baby out. She had outstayed her welcome and it was time for her to go.

I loved running and have done numerous half marathons and one full marathon. I knew the importance of being well prepared, both mentally and physically, and having a solid race plan before you get to the start line. I approached birth the same way as I would a running race. My race map was Rhea Dempsey's depiction of dilation and contractions. It was on my wall beside the birth pool so I could refer to it if needed, but it was mapped out in my mind. Game on! I was ready to undertake this birth race with full determination to cross the finish line and have my little girl in my arms. I was so happy when Corin said I was fully dilated, because to me this was the home stretch and I needed to dig a little deeper to get across the finish line.

Corin asked if I wanted to get in the birth pool, and I said, "of course, I would love to birth in it." It was named after a beautiful friend with a midwifery legacy in the region, whose inspirational conversations had helped me shape my pregnancy and birth journey. Her spirit was with me in the moment.

Everyone sprang into action and started filling the birth pool. It had been blown up in the bedroom, and daily I would look at it and dream of giving birth in it with my fairy lights on. I also had affirmations on the wall, and my favourite quote, one Douglas Mawson used in Antarctica to get back to the hut when he was lost and close to dying: "Buck up, do your damnedest and fight. It's the plugging away that will win you the day." If he could overcome that much adversity with it, so could I.

The pool was full and it was time for me to get in. I waited for a couple of contractions to pass, then everyone helped me stand and get into the pool. I was worried about taking the TENS off because it was helping with the back pain, but I shouldn't have worried, it was a beautiful relief getting into the warm water.

I didn't hear Veronica arrive or know she was there until she appeared behind me with the pool pump in hand, ready to top up the pool. I think she was the classic midwife sitting quietly in the corner, watching until she was needed, she sprang into action when the baby was coming.

Lying back, my body started pushing again, and I couldn't believe it when Corin said the head was out and I could touch it. I think I was a gibbering mess at this point because it felt surreal, I was about to meet my baby girl. I reached down and felt lots of hair in the water, then her head. I'd always imagined my baby would be bald, so feeling hair was bizarre. At this point I had learnt to go slowly to prevent tearing, but in the moment I was like, forget it, I'm just going for it and getting this baby out. One big push and it felt like lots of popping. Pop, pop, pop, and she was out! I was more of a gibbering mess, I couldn't believe she was out and how good it felt. I was going to pick her up, but in the moment I was still in amazement and couldn't manoeuvre myself to reach her, so Corin picked her up and put her on my chest. So beautiful, I couldn't stop looking at her and saying, "I finally have my baby."

It was the best day of my life, meeting my daughter in the birth pool. She was born at 7:14am, a moment in time which will always fill my heart with joyful love. My paternal grandmother was born on 15 July, and my maternal grandmother died on 15 July, and my daughter was in my arms at 07:14am. I feel they were both with me on this birthing journey.